The Bane of My Previous Saturday Afternoon...

Ok. So I get home from work, on a Saturday afternoon, and my dad is out back cuttin' down our apple tree. (About time too. the apples drop off the tree and rot. Never ever get ripe and a pain in the behind to clean up.) And I get my clothes on to start to chop it all up. All I had on was a white t-shirt and a pair of jeans. I went outside, and got there in time to help my dad pull down the last limb. Now when I say I, I mean my mother and I, pulled down the tree. Yes, I pulled down the branch. With all of my manly strength.
Anyway, so we pulled the tree branch down. So then we started cutting it up. Here is the branch. (Pictured below)

There was a log on the ground, and being the strong-beastly-manly-man that I thought "Why not pick this log up and flex my non-existent muscles for the non-existent ladies?" So I bent over, in the process of picking this log up. Wearing only a white t-shirt, My lowerback showed. Now, at the exact same moment, my younger brother stepped onto the pile of tangled branches about 6 ft. away. The tangled pile sagged, and shot up, right into my behind. Now, for those of you who have ever had anything similar to this to happen, it hurts like a mother. A bunch of sticks with protruding stubbs will scrape your back up. As anybody would be, I was extrememly angry at this branch. so I went all Freddy Krueger on it and these are the results:


Oh yeah. The power of the chainsaw. and my... beefy arms.

my mood

Well, since I have many different moods, I thought I should tell everyone what each one is like. Here is a situation and 6 responses each from a different mood. here is the situation:"Barrack Obama just became president. How do you feel?"

Careless:"Bah!! I'm moving to Canada!"

Angry:"Oh my gosh!! I need to go punch something and break several bones in the process!!"

Ignorant:"Well it won't affect me. Because of the first comment, I'll be in Canada.

Denial:"He's not really the president of the United States. He's only president of the streakers convention."

Defiant:"Why should I listen to him? He's only the president of one of the worlds largest military powers. Why should I listen to him?

Pessimistic:"Great. He's only been president for several moments and the country's already going to the toilet."

Optimistic:"Well, at least it's not Clinton."

This is in no way a personal vendetta against Obama. It is just easier to come up with negative things to say about him.

My Fear...

I don't know about anyone else, but I have to say that There are certain characters from a certain classic Disney movie that give me shivers. seriously.. here is a picture..


doesn't that scare anybody? a HEFFALUMP!! I HATE HEFFALUMPS! If it had its mouth open saying "DURRRR!!! HA HA HA!" I would be cringing in my chair. My mom probably doesn't think that I am serious, but I am. I have been afraid of them since I was about 4. I remember the reason to this day. I watched the Pooh Bear Video, and when I saw the heffalumps, I thought nothing of them. That night, I went to sleep. In my dream, the same thing happened to me. Except instead of the heffalumps stealing my honey, they were stealing my HESS trucks. Scary. Imagine me in a dream being terrified by imaginary creatures. Created by Disney. Even worse. That definitely doesn't help your manhood. Yes, I may be spastic, But I really don't like heffalumps. But Woozles are worse! I was lookin' for a picture of a woozle and I came across a Wiki on them. (Of all things to make a wiki about.. Woozles?) Luckily, they didn't have a picture, but this is the description; "A woozle is a fictional character created by walt disney. The word woozle is similar in spelling to weasel, and the character is similar to a weasel exceot they are often colorful". Whoa! Red flag! SIMALAR TO A WEASEL!! Doesn't that say "Hind under your covers from the heffalump, but watch out for the woozle! it can weasel under your sheets!" TERRIFYING!

From quotes to thriller.. yes it is possible..

Here are some of my all time favorite quotes

"There are no stupid questions. Only stupid people."
Well duh! I like to count myself as one of those people who doesn't ask stupid questions. I may give a stupid answer every so often. But I know some people who are like that (Not pointing any fingers but..)
"Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the world together."
- So true! I love duct tape. and what a friggin amazing analogy. Star Wars... Speaking of which, here is a clip of star wars thriller!!! (Random. Yes I know, but that's what happens with apple juice and cookies. The snack of preschool champions. Yeah! I'M LIVIN' ON THE EDGE!)

Why guys don't care

All girls think that guys are just stupid and because they are stupid, they have no brains. And because they have no brains, they ignore everything you say. and because they ignore everything you say, they just respond and say whatever pops into their head. And because they say things that just plop out of their heads. and because they say things that just plop out of their heads, etc...
While this process is impossible to stop or to change altogether, there are some simple things you can do and say to alleviate some of the troubles of this grim process.

1. Speak slower- part of the time the reason they choose to ignore you is because they cannot keep up at your speed of speech. If he realizes that you are speaking almost a syllable per second, he may be able to catch.
2. Talk about sports or video games- the largest reason that men zone out on the ceiling and start to ignore you is because they believe that the ensuing conversation has nothing to do with anything he deems valuable to survival. If you can get his attention with a comment about the raiders game last night, you can lead into another conversation without him ever being the wiser.
3. continue talking with random sounds- keep talking, but randomly shout "DUCK!!! ARTILLERY!!!" and that will jolt him back into the real world.
4. Become violent- this will of course get his attention since he does not expect to be kicked in the shins. Or where ever else you kick or hit. just remember. do not damage his ability to speak. If you do, he will not be able to apologize, and that will only endanger his life further. (A note for men. DO NOT UNLEASH THE TIGER WITHIN. raaaawwwrr.)
If non of these methods work, he may have dropped into a coma from the shock of his own igorance. At this point, medical attention is required. ( Hopefully only for the coma.)
ABUSE!!!!!

Rugby, Rugby, Rugby!!

I am so PUMPED!!! My dad is taking me to a rugby touch game at BYU on saturday morning!!(Two hand touch rugby. Yes it's possible to play rugby without tackling) If you don't know me, then this is like the biggest event of my life! I get to play rugby at BYU!! who can say that? this could be the day that I come alive. And, there are girls at BYU right?

This video is friggin' hilarious. This is all done by a comedian. For all of you who are older than me, this will bring back some memories. For those of you who are my age, you'll think "oh my gosh. people actually danced like that? Anyway, here it is!!!!

MY FIRST POST EVER!!!!!

wow. so this is my first post ever. amazing isn't it? I can spell, type, and try to figure this friggin' thing out all at the same time! Heck Yeah! You thought that this monkey couldn't walk and breathe at the same time. Well guess what? I'm an Orangatan!!! and I have.. shoes.. so HA!